It’s D-day. Deadline day. I’ve been working on a project for 6 months now, watching it take shape while I’ve been breathing life into the words on paper. As I’m typing this, I know I don’t have any time to spare if I want to make the deadline, but I’d rather take a few minutes to share the feelings that are moving around in me at the moment.
I haven’t been able to stop thinking about this book since it chose my pen. It’s not just any book though. It’s a story that has touched so many corners of my own thoughts and demons. A story that has kept me awake while my mind tried to confront my own experiences along this journey called life. And as I typed a thousand words here, a thousand words there, the story started to develop a life on paper. And with every thousand words extra, a soft beat started to pulse between the words.
Every moment has been spent thinking of each section of the book, to ensure that people reading it will also experience the beat. The story has grown beyond 80 000 words, yet I can’t get myself to step away for a moment. I can’t allow it to just sit inside the confines of a closed laptop, knowing how much still needs to be done.
Because it’s a heartbeat. A heart sitting in my laptop. A heart that needs to be kept alive. And as I write and chisel and move words around, the heart beats stronger, telling me that it wants to move beyond the keys under my fingers and the lit screen before me. It wants me to give it everything I’ve got. It wants to be alive. It wants to be a beat in thousands of lives.
I suppose this is all we could ask for as writers. To feel the power of a story so deeply. To believe that it should be shared with the world. To know that our deadlines are worth all the feelings of doubt as we struggle through each page.
Time to get back to the beat!