Those moments are always there without us noticing. Something is wrong, but we continue to push through and hope that a strong coffee will fix it tomorrow morning. Let’s just say I’ve had a year of very strong coffee. Of writing and wondering and doubting and wishing and aching. I’ve written a book that’s been lying on a folder stored on my laptop’s desktop. How tragic, that it’s been existing there for almost a year. Until a few months ago, when an independent publisher responded to my query.
And so, my contract has finally been signed and has now arrived in the US! It truly is incredible how the self-doubt has never ceased during this process. Not because I have any reason to not believe in the story I had written, but because of the process to get the story “out there”. Before you start writing, you have all the faith in the world that your story needs to be told. And then it’s almost like a magic wand appears above your head when you sit down to write those first few words, and conjures up a spell to start the constant questioning. We may not show it as writers, but trust me, there is so much uncertainty when you are busy writing something that is likely to outlive you by generations. It’s daunting to create eternal words that will live on in paper and libraries and bookshelves.
Signing those few pages of documents have solidified the belief in this story. It has helped my questions rest for a while. It has given the story wings – and me, a huge sigh of relief.
Now, the next process is about to start – the exciting process of typesetting and binding. I’m under no illusions that it will be an easy process. I am however holding my breath that this story will own its place in the market, that it will educate and that it will live on.
As if the self-doubt has not been enough for me, I’ve also just started writing my second book. Though I am more comfortable in the discomfort this time around, it’s still another book that needs to be written. But again – I believe in this next story with all my heart and I can’t wait to help it grow its wings!
If you’d like any tips or advice on the writing or publishing process – get in touch with me at firstname.lastname@example.org!